a rough go at it today.

i had a rough go at it today. and i said that out loud to a number of people in an attempt to make it a better go at today. sometimes i just have to deal with my issues and have a rough day. sometimes i just have to suck it up and move on. sometimes i just need to get my life together and stop worrying about how hard or easy the day was or is. 

either way, i'm working through some tough things in my heart today. these things always happen in such a timely manner, seeing that i just got home from camp yesterday and i had club tonight and will have club again wednesday night. busy week. go figure i would be up at 1:30 in the morning writing a blog about how today was hard. go figure. 

the tough things come from the same place in my heart that i had to deal with this or very similar issues for the past 12ish years of my life.  Oh man. Lots of old baggage that could be dug up and reevaluated. but tonight, after everyone has left. I realize that rehashing stuff that has been dealt with will only develop deeper wounds. I will only deal with the issues at hand and stop giving ground to and issue that isn't "my one thing" 

The Lord has constantly proven himself faithful to me, never leaving me the same today as I was yesterday. When life is easy and when life is hard. On days that are sweet nectar and days that are seriously a rough go. When I stop and think about the Lord I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to not lift up my head in praise of the One who loves me and has called me by name, with purpose and destiny. 

I shall rest my head with assurance tonight. Assurance that my soul is being transformed daily by a God who longs for my deepest fears to be met by him with anticipation and assurance of glory being drawn to the maker of such a fragile heart. 

People have encouraged me. 

Flowers from one who loves me have lifted my spirit.

Chats about truth have punched the lies right in the face. 

My "one thing" will be conquered. not by my own strength.