still january... excited about Vday already!!

true story: 

I used to absolutely hate Valentines Day. My friends would get all excited and I would just get mad and talk about how no one really loved me and how lame a day about love was and how lame people were for even thinking about liking that day.

another true story:

What an awesome change that has occurred in my life. I love Valentines Day. I am sitting here on the  24th of January looking forward to the next few weeks as we gear up for a beautiful LOVE day celebration. I've had some good experiences in the last few years but I think that the thing that has changed the most in my feelings toward this particular day in the year is... I love love. I love being able to show people how much I love them. I love getting a chance to say it. I love planning loving things. I love love songs. I love sappy movies. I love love. 

best true story:

I haven't had to "fall in love" to experience a super awesome appreciation of Valentines day. I used to pray that I would fall in love and someone could "love" me into enjoying February 14th. Jesus knew what I really needed. I needed to appreciate, not falling in love, but love in the broader sense. This day doesn't have to be about butterflies and intimate his and her kind of love. It gets to be what you make it. And I choose to make it a day of loving all the people I love OUT LOUD. Look forward to it people, cause I sure am.

I can't wait for the plans I've made. I can't wait... Well I guess I have too. I'll love you until then... and after then too!

better days

song lyrics speak to my spirit. 

here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs.

(i'll give you some, every once in a while so you can see what the Lord is teaching me)

my favorites parts are bolded.

they are my favorite cause they make me think about how much my savior is really fond of me!

First of all, thanks for listening to our song

We hope this finds you driving in your car

or wherever you are, breathe out and breathe again

know that life is hard, but its worth the breathing, 

listen to me now for love, oh love, 

It's waiting for you just to say...

here come better days

here come better days

better days, and a better place I know.

Secondly, I'm all screwed up so royally

I stumbled my way here, but wait, oh wait

grace has found me

shaken up my soul, 

and grace will follow wherever you go, 

so listen to me now grace, oh grace, 

is calling for you just to say

here come better days

here come better days

better day, and a better place I know. 

Green grass and I'm laying in the sunlight of you, 

the wind is moving through the trees ushering you 

and the better days you bring, the better places found, 

feasting at your table I am overwhelmed.

I lift my glass, drink to love that never gave up.

Clouds pass fading into memories gone, 

and all I know for life is life and love and peace, 

what else could there be?

here come better days, oh here come better days, 

better days, and a better place I know. 

Those are all true things. Thank you Robbie Seay Band!

my plan.

Sometimes life can talk you out of what you think you are certain of. 

Sometimes it is people who do the talking, or circumstances, or even the evil one. 

Sometimes life just takes what it wants and leaves you hopeless and missing out on what you know you've been designed for. 

Voices mold our heart. We have to decide what voice will be the loudest speaking to who we are and who we are becoming. We long for Jesus' voice to be the loudest. We long for Jesus' voice to drown out all of the other voices we hear. 

So life and voices have been a theme of my journey over the last year or so and this last weekend at the Young Life Mission Community Weekend at Woodleaf, the speaker Pat Goodman spoke on both things. He articulated things that the Lord has been speaking to me over and over and over again. It's always fun when truth wins in conversations about life following after the heart of God. 

Pat shared that we have to see ourselves (and others) how Jesus sees us. This is such an easy thing to say, but to live it out is a whole different story. I am praying that God will help me live what I know is true. I am praying that Jesus would captivate me at my core, that who He is would be who I am. I'm praying that He would teach me to learn to hear and obey His voice. That I would be who He says I am. I am praying that even when life is tough, that life will not talk me out of what I am certain of. 

So...why Young Life? Why is this the place that the Lord has drawn my heart to serve him?

Pat explained it so well. I agree:

he said. We pray and we show up.

God has placed in my heart the call to love. (i'm pretty sure it's not a unique call, but it is the call i hear so many moments of so many days) So I'm called to love. (so are you?!?) Okay...

God came down. He lived amongst us. He put on flesh and moved into the neighborhood. He showed up, TO BE WITH us. So, how are people going to understand what that means, what that looks like for today, if we (followers of Christ who have been called to love) if we don't show up? How are people going to understand Jesus, if we're not WITH them? The pictures that Jesus painted in the scriptures about us (Christians), is that we would be light. Light penetrates darkness. He said that we would be salt. Salt isn't salty alone in it's container. You don't taste salt unless you add it to something. Jesus says we'd be the aroma of Jesus. You have to be with people for them to smell Jesus. 

I'm pretty sure that the last paragraph doesn't make a whole lot of sense (if it does, great), but what I am trying to say is that I WANT TO SHOW UP.  I know I can only do that through the power that comes from my Savior. So here is my plan, the plan that I'm letting you in on: 

I'm going to pray. I'm going to talk to my Savior. AND

I'm going to show up. I'm going to be Jesus in the flesh. I'm going to do what he asked of me.

I like this plan!

i like a boy

this is a true statement.

it is driving me nuts.

i hate it.

i love it.

i would like to think about something else.

stupid boys!

group number two rocks my socks off!

what a glorious sunday today has been. i've enjoyed everything a sunday has to offer and then some. it was a particularly beautiful day in redding, really the heavens opened up and allowed for the most beautiful january 11th ever.

i went to church were we were verbally kicked in the gut. during lunch after church we discussed the pain we find ourselves in when we hear about what happens around the world. it is tough to think about hopelessness and lives void of truth and love that comes from the source of hope and truth and love. i'm still pondering the idea of how to respond as Isaiah did in chapter 6. "Here I am Lord, send me Lord" what does that look like in real life? what does going mean? where do i have to go? how can i help everyone that stirs within me a longing for them to know truth? what does it look like, today? I've decided to pray for a deeper urgency everyday to share the truth of who Jesus is with people who do not know Him. I'm going to go about my business asking and longing for truth to spill out over my words, actions and even my intentions.

church was good. lunch after church was grand.

my group of friends definitely fits in the category 2 and today proved it over and over and over again. i cleaned my house and planned a meeting and a few of my peeps and i took a little ride along the river trail on mountain bikes. it was awesome and beautiful and kinda hard to get up the big hill at the end. but i made it and was even able to breathe at the top, so that is good. it must be all of those hours in the gym :)

we had our first young life leader meeting of this semester and it was so awesome. so fun to get back together and enjoy each other. so great. we laughed and shared life and i really can't think of a better way to enjoy a sunday than with people i love so dearly doing things i really have fun doing. 

i'm missing some of my peeps right now. i'm missing the ones who i've spent so many sunday afternoons with. i'm kinda sad that i cannot just build a bubble where everyone i've ever loved could just be together allllll the time. it's okay. love runs deep and the people i love, wherever they are...i'll be praying that the God of the universe would give them deep joy today. that they would know Him in the depth of who they are....

what a glorious sunday!

why are people so....ugh!!!

this week has been long and crazy and busy and sometimes awesome and sometimes not even a little bit awesome and sometimes the best week of my life and other times the worst possible week ever of all time not even only my life.

today was graduation.

i'm so glad it's over. i need to get back to my life that doesn't cause me to think about work and business all day long. things went well today but in the very same breath i just noticed that people are absolutely ridiculous sometimes. They only hear what they want to and they are rude and disrespectful and selfish and just down right annoying. 

THEN there are people who are great and wonderful and life giving and such a joy to be around.

i'm glad there are both cause it makes the second group that much better. I hope that I always fall in the second group. I also hope that the people who find themselves in the first group would learn that that group sucks and they should move on over to the better group.

anyway.

praise God it is Saturday afternoon. I'm going to go to the gym then I'm going to enjoy an evening of joy with group 2.

Kandice Fan Club

okay peeps...

it's been a while. I wanted to blog more. I should. I will....

here is where i will begin. (this might sound arrogant, but please know that, more than anything, that is nooooootttt my intentions.)

I have a fan club. As of today it is not an official fan club but I'm working on making it an official club. I'm going to begin with T-shirts (Therese Harper gave me this idea...well kinda). They'll have my face on them. I'm going to enjoy a photo shoot and then YOU (all who wish to join my official fan club) can buy a shirt (it's not gonna be cheap, my fan club is going to be hard core. (and that means costing money.))  All proceeds will go to what I am most passionate about REDDING YOUNG LIFE...this is going to be awesome.

Get ready people. Especially those of you who are already my number one fan, now you just get to tell the world about it. And don't worry it's not to late to join, espeically since nothing is official yet. And also don't worry cause everyone that is a member will be my #1 fan, so there won't be any fighting for a higher rank. 

:) good idea?!?!