you changed me...

I’m going to dig into the recesses of my mind and give to the blogging world a picture of the ladies that have been so life-giving and transforming in my life. The ones that have sat on the floor with me. The ladies that have cried with me, laughed with me, yelled at me, quoted me. The young ladies that have, with their lives, shown me what it looks like to live and love authentically. Each in her own unique and powerful way, has changed my life forever. The ladies I am referring to are the ones who have shared my address, who have shared my bathroom, who have shared my sleeping space. They are my ladies; the girls who I call ‘the roomies’! I could get my journal out and type all of the fun things that they have taught me, but instead I’m going to exercise the power of my mind and share with you my favorite memory of living with each of the 11 girls that I’ve had the privilege to call my roommate. Enjoy!

Niki- my favorite memory of being your roommate was lying in bed at night and talking about what we thought our lives should look like. We would laugh; we would talk about how no one was quite like us. We would dream big dreams for ourselves. I cannot remember anything specific, so I’m not sure if our dreams are coming true, but what I do know is that you taught me how to dream big. We would never worry about what people thought about our late night chats. We wouldn’t even tell anyone about them, we would just dream and laugh and enjoy life. You taught me to dream!

Tory- you and me are so different. We came from very different lives. We have very different families and dreams. But when I think of you and the time we shared as roommates I think about how much you challenged me. You got me thinking about the world in a different way. You challenged me to be bold and confident. I think you thought I was bold and confident, but really your encouragement and push really gave me room to trust myself and live out what I think the Lord had been calling me too. In our differences I saw a lot of likeness, in our uniqueness I saw a lot of parallels as we made choices to press hard after the One who brought us together in the first place. You’re my challenger! (no picture :( so sad)

Kara- when I think about you, I think about joy. I think about how much you made me laugh and giggle and smile. I think about the times we would get back to our room at the end of a long day and tell each other everything (I mean everything) that happened to us in a day. You cared so deeply for every single part of me. Never did I ever doubt your genuine love for me; never did I ever doubt your deep sense of joy that covered your life every single day. You Kara Rice made my life happy. You brought out my joy!

Julie- Julie Swin (Ratiani), when I think of you, I think of a rock. My memory goes straight to laying on the floor in the middle of one of our bedrooms contemplating the hardest things about life and faith. I think about you “getting my pants,” I think about how wonderful you were and are to me. I think about the ways that you challenged my thinking and confirmed the truth that Jesus was making manifest in my life. When I think of you I think about how absolutely positive I am that I would not be the person I am right this minute without you. I would not be as smart as I am (intro to theo.), I would not be as grounded as I am (spiritual formation), I would not be as confident as I am (your simple love for me). Julie, you are my rock!

Haylee- when I search my mind to think of who Haylee Marie has been/is for me. The first word that comes to my mind is sister. I think about the serious life challenges we’ve faced. I think about the arguments we’ve had. I think of the joy and laughter we’ve shared. I think of the purpose you’ve called out of me. I think of the picture of family that I encounter when I think of you. I think of you as my sister; we laugh, we cry, we push, we pull, we live this life together as ones who were designed to love each other for such a time as this. Haylee Huntsinger, you’re my sister.

Jennifer- Monkey. We enjoy and even love most of the same things. We have an affinity that is deep. Though our friendship only spans a few years, when my heart is reminded of you it is reminded of how much the Lord has blessed our friendship. When you tell me stories about your journey with Jesus I am inspired to join you, to walk with you in stride toward our Savior. As I look for words to describe the woman I think you are and have been to me, I think that you inspire me. You inspire me to love high schoolers into the Kingdom. You inspire me to trust the Lord with all that I am, all that I have and all that I want. You inspire me to be a loving and loyal friend. You inspire me to be more like Jesus. Monkey, you are my inspiration!

Jamie- Mrs. Bordenave. You are who you are, no apologies, no looking back. You are confident, bold, sure, sweet, caring, honest and one of the most profoundly amazing friends I have ever had in my life. I didn’t even know we could be friends. I didn’t know anything about you really, until we moved in together. You have taught me and continue to teach me so much that it is difficult for me to pinpoint any one thing. When I think of you, I cannot help but think of BenJamin. I think about how wonderful it has been for me to be able to watch such a sweet, perfect, wonderful union come together as only Jesus could do. When I think about all of the great things you have taught me, I am certainly thankful for the picture that is painted through your relationship with Ben. I get to see a beautiful masterpiece that I can only dream about having myself one day. Jamie, also, you are a very consistent and persistent friend. I apologize for all of the times that you’ve had to do all of the work to keep our friendships together, but as I apologize I am very thankful for you and the way that you simply go about your day, constantly remembering those you love. You are, amongst other things, the glue kind of friend!

Kelly- you walked me through some serious pain Kelly Reck. I bet you had no idea that you were going to have to deal with such an emotional wreck when you moved into the house?! Even though you weren’t fully prepared you did a wonderful job! The most profound thing that I learned from you, happened one day on the floor in the dining room (there was no table in there, for some reason, anyhow…). I was sitting there, sad and broken and hurting pretty deeply and you said to me, something along the lines of you might be missing the “love yourself” part of loving your neighbor as yourself. I don’t know if you knew how profound a statement you had made, but let me tell you what, learning how to love myself as I would love my neighbor has been one of the most life transforming things that has ever happened to me. Reversing and replacing years and years of lies and negative self-talk has come from that simple conversation on the floor in the kitchen. Kelly, you taught me to love me!

Sara- Sara Perez. What kind of friends have we been? I don’t even know how we came to be roommates. I have no idea how we made our way into each other’s lives the way we did, but what I do know is that you are strong. You taught me weighty concepts of strength and character. You are your own person. You do things your way. You are tough. I am so thankful to have been able to watch you learn and grow. I am so thankful to have watched you encounter difficult life circumstances with such grace and resilience. You exude strength.

Beka- when I think about you, I think about the ways in which you give of yourself without complaint or need for compensation. You are a giver from the deepest parts of you. I don’t know how many time you washed dishes that you didn’t dirty. I cannot count the number of times you sacrificed your own need for sleep in order to make it easier for me to go to sleep. I cannot begin to fathom the other things you did in secret, in the quiet of your normal days, things that would bless and encourage others. I saw it in you, Beka. I wanna be like you. I wanna be a secret giver. Your ways have taught me to give and love for the purposes of giving and loving rather than for acclimation or return. You’re a giver!

Mandy- Are you kidding me?! I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve been blessed with handfuls of girls to live with and love as my roommates. You are a different breed altogether. The way you go about your life, your intentionality, your encouragement and praise, your prayers, your unabashed and sincere love for me has transformed the woman that I am. You have walked alongside me during some of the most difficult seasons of my life. You have taught me to laugh at myself. You have taught me honesty. You have taught me a new kind of love. You’re really really really awesome and I’m so very excited to continue our roommateship so that the list above can go on and on and on. 

The reason I decided to write this blog is because I was driving home from a long weekend with my soon to be roommate Hannah Greene. I was so excited to think about the things that she will teach me and pull out of me. So excited for the life that we will live together, as we intentionally draw closer to our Savior, TOGETHER! So excited! As I thought about the future, I couldn’t help but think of the past and the profound ways these wonderful women have changed me. I couldn’t help but bask in the greatness that is the provision of God in my life. I cannot imagine my life without the ladies listed above. Who would I be today without you? You have taught me way way way more than I have shared here… there is not enough time in the day to ponder the ways that such wonderful women interact with each other. I don’t even think I have the capacity to thank you enough for the ways that you have blessed me and pushed me and encouraged me. So thank you girls. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for your ‘roommateship.’ Thank you for loving me, in ways I cannot even imagine trying to portray in a blog. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you for changing me!