what does it look like?

What does it look like to follow Jesus with your life? I wonder about the implications of this question on a daily basis. I’ve been a Christian for a while now. I’ve gone through seasons of knowing, very clearly, what it looks like to follow Jesus, but I’ve also gone through seasons of floundering to be able to even call myself a Christian. And the more I think about it, the more I’m sure, that is exactly it. That is the answer. Go through the seasons. Figure out the every day.

I’ve thought through the connotation of not knowing why or how to choose Jesus’ way for me. I’ve thought it through so many times that I find it difficult to continue to think about it. I wonder oftentimes what it would be like to put spiritual life on autopilot. The kind of autopilot that would choose for me, everyday, to choose the best life that God has to offer me. Wouldn’t that just be so easy?!

I’ve been thinking about these things because of one particular conversation I had a few weeks ago. I was sitting around a table enjoying a little Lunch After Church ( I use capitol letters because I’ve found this little life experience to be one of my very favorite, one that brings such deep joy and gratification to my life that I’m going to forever refer to it as an event in time, to be capitalized, I digress). So, we’re enjoying a little lunch and conversation leads me to a place where I cannot conjure within myself any kind of answer to simple theological questions. I think it is extremely important to think through and have an answer for the reasons why you believe what you believe. I think that is not a concept thought up by me, but I’m pretty sure I used my gift of acquisition and stole it from the Apostle Paul. All the while… I didn’t have any answers.

I felt like I did when I first went to college. I felt like I needed to go back to the roots of my faith and figure out the reasons why I wanted to find out what it looks like to follow Jesus with my life. How can I even begin to ask that question of myself if I do not have a foundation to truth to begin to build that life upon?

I don’t have any answers, so if that is what you were hoping for as you began to read this (my first blogger blog), I’m sorry to disappoint you. I usually don’t have any answers to my ponderings. I just go about my business, thinking about my life, questioning my motives, and yours, and developing thoughts and hopes from the places and questions that my heart beats for.

I talk a lot about my heart, because I have found it to be the place where my ponderings lead me. My heart and the heart of the One who created my heart. I’m excited to see where the beginnings of this conversation lead me…

Here’s what I’m going to do…
I’m going to read my bible. I’m going to have a biblical reason for the things that I believe.
I’m going to research these crazy contemporary topics of conversation that I find myself in. I’m going to know what I think, and what others think, I’m going to be educated in my ponderings.
I’m going to laugh.
I’m going to talk about it out loud with anyone that will listen in order that my mind doesn’t explode or cave in on itself. I’m going to allow this mind of mine to move and change and grow as I daily draw closer to my Savior.

Enjoy my ponderings!!!